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Monday, August 22, 2011

Out of the Blue and Still Gray

So I interviewed for a job on Wednesday of last week.

I forwarded all the house calls to my cell phone on Thursday while we were at Tweetsie.

I literally sat by the phone Friday waiting for a call.

Every time the phone rang, I hoped it was them.

They never called. So I cried a lot on Friday. Actually, I cried more than I care to admit!

Then today, I called them to see if they had made a decision.

The response I got was, "Yes, we made a decision. I had you on my list to call on Friday, but I didn't get to it." The tone to his voice confirmed what I already knew.

I did NOT get the job.

So I am sitting here again today.

Crying.

Wondering.

Feeling like a failure.

What else is there to say?

1 Comments from my friends:

Sues said...

I absolutely know how bad this feels. I sat by the phone exactly like that on pins & needles for FIVE YEARS (Jan 2006 - Jan 2011) with every job JB applied for trying to get us back South. It was the worst emotional rollercoaster ever. EVER. But:
#1 - You are anything but a failure. My husband does HR for big companies (extra ironic when he was applying, b/c he knew all the techniques, etc.) and there were plenty of rejections he got, not b/c he sucked - if fact, his feedback was always that he was the most amazing candidate! - but if ANYONE will do it for less money, they're going to go that way. Plus, there may be other factors you can't control, if they need to expand their diversity. 9 times out of 10, when you have the qualifications, getting rejected has nothing to do with *you* - it's their funky requirements that they don't broadcast.
#2 - As wretchedly depressed as I was waiting those 5 years to be "delivered", it was 100% a test from God. He was doing a work in me, and I was NOT going to get my dream fulfilled until He had banged some rough lessons into my head. Just be open to whatever He may want you to grasp before He knows you'll be ready for this. Pray about it & ask Him straight up to show you! In my case, I had to learn to be happy & TRULY enjoy life wherever I was before God would let us move where we wanted. God's always working this stuff out for your best, even when you don't feel it.
*HUGS*