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Monday, April 5, 2010

Emotional Easter

WARNING: This post is going to be REALLY long. Don't say you weren't warned!

This is the post I have tried to convince myself not to write so that no one's feelings get hurt. However, my feelings got hurt, and so I have a right to write about it! :) Right? I'm not trying to hurt anyone with this, I'm just trying to sort things out in my brain. Writing is my best outlet for that.

Anyways, I should preface this by saying that I come from a family that travels in herds/gaggles/armies/groups/whatever you call the large group of people you go out to eat with or hang out with most of the time.

This weekend, we had some people come into town. We were invited Friday night to go out to eat with them at 7pm at a restaurant that is infamous for making you wait at least an hour around 7pm. There were going to be 8 adults and 5 kids.....13 total (I think!)! (That's about the normal size for the "army" we travel with here.)

The other 10 people arrived around 6:30pm at the location and did not have to wait long. They were seated quite promptly. When Tony, Chasity, and I arrived (at 6:50--remember we weren't supposed to arrive until 7pm), they had already ordered drinks and appetizers. Some of them were on drink refills and the appetizers were almost gone. That bothered me because they invited us to eat with them, but they didn't call to say they had been seated earlier or anything.

Plus, when we got there, a waitress had already taken one of the extra chairs. There was only room for two of us. Since Tony is closer to them than I am, I told him to stay with them. I said I would sit by the bar. I don't drink, but since there is now a smoking ban in NC restaurants, I can sit anywhere in the room. The tables by the bar were full, so I walked outside. Not long after, Tony and Chasity came out. Finally, we all did go back in to eat, but we still had to wait on another chair to show up.

The main things that bothered me were that they didn't even call to tell us to come on earlier. Plus, they let the waitress take a chair. AND...they ordered without waiting on us. When my family travels in our herd, we always space out the empty chairs until everyone arrives. Then we scoot around until we are in the seats we plan to stay in once everyone is there to claim a seat. When you do that, the servers don't steal the extra chairs. They couldn't have just ordered their drinks and waited on ordering food until 7pm (actually 6:50pm) when we arrived?

Not everyone does things the way I was taught. So I thought it was somewhat rude. Tony is a "go with the flow" type person. So it didn't seem to bother him. I just let it bother me.... I always do.

As if I didn't let this bother me enough, this wasn't the only thing that happened.

On Saturday, these same people were attending a birthday party for their granddaughter who lives here. The party was supposed to start at 12 noon on Saturday. We were called as we were finishing up getting ready and they informed us that the party was moved to 4pm.

That was great! We had a repair man here for our AC because it wasn't working! When he finished, we ran to Wal-Mart for some things. I was supposed to meet a Girl Scout parent at 3pm. Then we ran home to check the AC to see if it was working. (It wasn't!) :( About 5 til 4, they called Tony to see if we were on the way. We were almost walking out the door. (I can't be on time for much of anything, but when we arrived we were only about 15 minutes late!)

When we arrived at the party, the children had already eaten. The birthday girl had already opened most of her presents. Seriously? They couldn't wait until everyone got there? It was only 15 minutes!!! So when it was time for the adults to eat, Chasity didn't eat much because she was too interested in playing with the kids....naturally. So she was starving later!

I guess I just let it bother me because they INVITED us, but couldn't bother to wait on us. If was only once, I might would have let it go. However TWICE in TWO days....I think that's a little rude.

Still...that's not all. I think the thing that made me the most upset/hurt was this. On Friday, the men had had "boys time". They went to play golf. Then Saturday after the party was "girl time". The ladies were going for pedicures while the men watched the kids at the house.

Chasity heard them talking about this. So she just guessed that since she was a girl that she was going to get to go too! (She was the only female child other than the 1 year old birthday girl!) The guys invited Tony to stay at the house and watch the kids with them. They were going to play cards or watch NCAA tourney or play video games or whatever! They invited him 5-6 times. Unfortunately, the ladies did not think that I should get an invite. So they didn't invite me.

So when the ladies started leaving the building, I was not about to stay with the guys. So, I told Tony to say his "good-byes" and I headed to the car. Chasity came to the car and asked where we were going to have our nails done. I told her that we weren't invited. She started crying. She cried all the way home. She cried for a long time! I really don't like for my child to get hurt! Probably the thing that gets me the most is that when Chasity was crying on my lap in the car, the ladies who were going to get pedicures stopped to ask what was wrong. I said that she was upset that she didn't get invited to go with them. One of them said, "Did you want to have your toe nails done?" Chasity, being ticked off and hurt, said "No! I don't want to!" So they just rolled up the windows and left! They never even offered a courtesy invitation.... not even for my daughter's sake!

So this Easter was emotional for me. As I said in the beginning (if you are still reading), I did not mean to hurt any feelings with this....that is why I didn't call anyone by name! I could have called names....easily! But... I just wanted to get my emotions out. Who did this or whatever is not the point. (Yes, I know that if the people involved read this they will know who they are. I just hope they don't get offended or take this the wrong way.) I have kept this post as neutral as possible..... so....

oh yeah.... Joann....(if you are reading this).... I did NOT talk about FAT PEOPLE! lol :) (Thanks for the laugh!)

Until next time........

7 Comments from my friends:

Joann said...

(((Leslie))) These people do NOT sound like very good friends, almost sounds like the guys are Tony's friends, but the girls are not very nice. I'm thinking that they changed the party time on Saturday at the LAST minute thinking you guys wouldn't go, people plan their days AROUND reserved times, you can't change it at the LAST minute like that, and still expect people to show up, AND if the kids had time to eat AND the birthday girl had time to open the presents already, it kinda sounds like the party started even earlier than the 4:00 time they told you.

As for the dinner at the restaurant... YOU DON'T LET the waitress TAKE a SEAT FROM YOUR PARTY if you're EXPECTING someone to use it soon, that's downright intentional... and I have NEVER, EVER known a waitress to do that... they just DON'T do that. I don't think they even HAD a seat for you... these people seem to be just MEAN!!

I truly hope I'm wrong about them, but they just don't seem considerate at all about your feelings.

If your post WAS about FAT people, I STILL wouldn't be offended, you couldn't offend me if you tried. LOL!! Love you, much!

Joann~

Joann said...

All this worry about offending people who don't seem the LEAST interested in how they offend you!! They are SOOO undeserving of your kind friendship.

Leslie said...

They have never done this before, but it really did hurt me this weekend.

Joann, you are hilarious! Thanks! :) lol

Phyllis said...

Even though Chasity was upset (trust me, I know how mad that made her mama), maybe it will be a learning experience for her. Maybe, years from now, she think back and remember *not* to leave people out.

Take care.

Donna1264 said...

Talk about being so totally rude, inconsiderate and quite snobbish! With family like that, who needs enemies? Sheesh! Sorry, but I think they need a taste of their own medicine! Seriously. Tony is your husband, but it doesn't seem like he notices these things. And it doesn't seem to bother him much. Does he know how you feel? Really feel?

The Robinsons said...

Since I was in the "offending" party I should get to share our side:) And I'm sorry Leslie it came across the way it did.

1--We did not order food until you guys showed up and then left again. So when you came BACK inside the second time food was ordered. We ONLY ordered drinks prior to you arriving.

2--The chair was a complete mishap. They took it when bringing me a highchair for my birthday girl. They forgot her highchair. I didn't count to see if they sat 13 chairs and no highchair or just 12. So that is MY fault. With a baby and handicap child, I didn't count.

3--The birthday party was at 12, but you guys said you would not be able to make it because of the Easter Egg Hunt...so at 11, out of courtsey of wanting more family there, we changed it for you guys. As well, she took a late nap. We had to arrange HER party around HER. Everyone knows you can't give a one year old a party when she's cranky or sleepy. We thought we were helping my baby girl and you guys as well.

4--Lenna-Grace did not open ANY presents (but one) before you arrived. She had been playing with one of the presents for 15 minutes before you got there. Everything else still had to be opened. When a baby sees a bag of stuff, she's going to go through it. We did good to keep her only getting to one.

5--Our children had been asking for food all day. We fed them earlier a snack but they were still hungry. We allowed them to eat at 4.

6--Mom asked if you wanted to join the ladies. But argue if they was heard or said is not necessary.

FInally-- My mom has been there for you and Chasity through everything. She travels so far to see recitals or graduations when she can. We think of you as family and did not mean anything hurtful at all the whole weekend. I think other things made you take all the things that happened to be a personal matter--we didn't do it.

And for those putting us down without knowing the whole story--we don't need a taste of our medicine. There's two sides to every story. And I think everyone needs to realize that. We aren't snobs, we don't try to hurt people, we dont' scream at others...we love Leslie and Chasity. And yes, My Uncle Tony may appear "blind" you about what happened, but that's because he knew it was NOT intentionally. He appears to blind to a lot things because he's a kind person.

Anonymous said...

I really hate that I stumbled across this, my heart is totally broken!
Signed I guess the rude family that is cruel, etc...